There are going to be many people who come in and out of your life. However, the one relationship you will not be able to get away from is the one you have with yourself. Whether you like you or not, whether you respect you or not, whether you love you or not... the one relationship you will always be in is the one you have with yourself, so you might as well enjoy it by becoming your own best friend.
Becoming your own best friend is not about excluding people from your life. It is all about embracing, loving, appreciating, and celebrating yourself with or without other friends. It's about loving yourself unconditionally and being free to fully be yourself unapologetically.
What is a friend? Dictionary.com defines a friend as follows:
- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- a person who gives assistance; patron; support.
- a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
I like this definition of a friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
To know someone is not to just know their name or know anything about them, it is to have a deep intimate connection and awareness of their essence. It is knowing how they think, how they feel, how they react and respond to life... knowing their likes, dislikes, and more.
A friend is a person you have a mutual love and respect for. One where you both support, encourage, appreciate, help, admire, and care for one another. There can be no other way to have a real friendship without a mutual exchange. A friendship is not filled with jealousy, envy, gossip, or turning your back on your friend, especially when they need it the most.
Unfortunately, many people not only turn their backs on friends, they also turn their backs on themselves by abandoning their hopes, visions, and all they once hoped they could ever become. The truth is, you can be your own best friend or your own worse enemy and it's all by choice.
I want to give you a few tips on how to become your own best friend. Before I do that, I want to encourage you to read my blog "The Day I Became Best Friends with the Girl in the Mirror." I'm sure it will inspire you to embrace who you are and begin loving yourself unconditionally, which leads to the first way to become your own best friend...
- Love yourself unconditionally. This means loving who you are regardless of your perceived flaws, mistakes, mishaps, and inadequacies. This means loving the good, the "bad" and the indifferent. It is also choosing not to judge, condemn or criticize yourself harshly.
- Get to know yourself. Know our likes, dislike, your values, interests, your personality type (go to www.16personalities.com), your natural and spiritual gifts, feelings, character, etc. The only way you can do this effectively is by doing #3...
- Spend time with yourself. We spend so much time being with other people or working on making our "dreams" come true that we often neglect the most important person - ourselves. Spending time with yourself will allow you to be alone with your thoughts and feelings, and gives you time to process all that you face in life on a day-to-day basis. But don't think this means you'll be bored. There are plenty of things you can do by yourself: journal, paint, sing, dance, cook, sew, garden, read, exercise... you name it!
- Spend time doing mirror talk. When you finish reading this blog, go and stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself. It may seem awkward at first, but truth me, the more you do it the easier it will be and before you know it you will always run to the mirror just to check in with yourself. Here are some ideas: compliment yourself, tell yourself 10 things you love about you, tell yourself how worthy you are, how beautiful you are, thank yourself for being awesome, or tell yourself how much you trust you.
- Find something about yourself to be grateful for every single day. This can be a good journal exercise you can do when you wake up in the morning or before you go to bed at night. Grad your journal or stand in front of the mirror and express gratitude for who you are, what you have accomplished, how you accomplished it, etc.
- Trust yourself and the decisions you make. Okay, so here you may be thinking, "I haven't made the best decision in my life." That's okay. Forgive yourself and move on. But to really begin trusting yourself you have to build your confidence in who you are and know that there is always a powerful lesson is every decision you make (whether the outcome is in your favor or not.) Be gracious and trust yourself.
- Treat yourself. Yep, you deserve to be pampered whenever you feel like it. Take time to treat yourself to a spa day or a nice manicure or pedicure. Get her your hair done. Go buy your favorite perfume. Even buy yourself a birthday card! Just treat yourself and relish it!
- Create your own definition of happy and live by it. You don't have to force yourself to live by anyone's definition of happiness. Create your own and live by it every single day. (Note: When you spend time with yourself you'll begin to realize what really makes you happy. You can make the changes accordingly.)
- Be quick to forgive yourself and let go of any mistakes you make. Like I said before, you can either be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. Only an enemy would hold your mistakes over your head and constantly remind you of them. Let yourself off the hook. Forgive and move past whatever you may have done.
- Be your biggest cheerleader. "You did it! Yeah yeah, you did it! Oh yeah!" Clap, cheer and root your own self on. You don't need to wait for anyone else to cheer for you. Some people may do it and some may not. You can be your biggest supporter and the loudest fan in your life.
If I can let you in on a few little secrets...
- When you become your own best friend, you will inadvertently teach people how to treat you.
- You will not be afraid to be alone with yourself.
- Being your own best friend helps you to be a better friend to others in your life. The love, respect, and compassion you have for yourself, you can easily give to other people.
- Being your own best friend boosts your confidence. When you believe in yourself, you're unstoppable!
How I Can Help You:
The life we all currently live is a direct result of our thoughts, words, beliefs, and level of self-love. As a life coach, I've learned over the years that although many people know what to do to change their lives, they often don't do what it takes because they need personal direction, motivation, and accountability. Because of that, I created the Inner Work Coaching Program, a personalized one-on-one program where I walk you through the processes to discover and align with your True Essence so you can live a life you love.
The sessions are all-encompassing with inner work and self-love as the foundations and range in a variety of focuses: spiritual development and alignment, improving your self-image, emotional healing, soul balance, goal setting, and achievement, building your mental fortitude, healthy relationships, creating empowering habits, building your beliefs, time management, life and home organization, business strategies, and consultation + much more.
I would be honored to work alongside you helping you do your inner work towards living a life you enjoy in all aspects. To learn more and sign-up today, click here>>
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